Some time back, a friend of mine pointed me to a web site in which the author called white men racist for not asking black women to dance in the East Coast Swing dancing scene. (Rampant leftism is one of the reasons I’ve largely dropped out of this dance style.) I ignore it when someone calls me racist. (Or sexist.) The term has lost whatever meaning it once had, and is now just a way for black people to try to make you feel guilty so that they can get something from you that they didn’t otherwise earn or deserve. I don’t owe black people anything, and I’m not going to pretend that I like a black person when I don’t, just to avoid being called a “racist”, but I digress.
Whether you should dance with anyone really depends on your goals for dancing. I dance because I enjoy it, and I need a partner to do so. When I ask someone to dance, 9 times out of 10, it’s because I want to dance, not because I’m attracted to the person. Now, does that mean I’ve never asked a woman to dance because I was interested in her sexually or romantically? No, but, that’s no different than me striking up small talk with someone, or asking them about the book that they’re reading in a coffee shop. Yes, I sometimes do those things to converse with a woman I’m attracted to, but I also sometimes ask someone about the book that they’re reading because I’m interested in the book that they’re reading. I may have no attraction to them. Basically, sometimes, there is a “sexual subtext” or “agenda” that I have when I interact with a woman regarding something, but not always. I might have a non-sexual motive for it. If most people introspect, I think they’ll see they do the same thing. Sometimes that object in your mouth is a phallic symbol, and other times, a cigar is just a cigar.
Other people may have different goals from me for dancing, and that is fine. They may be there looking for a girlfriend. There is absolutely nothing wrong with dating being your primary or only agenda in dancing. It’s your life, and you have to live it. As long as you aren’t initiating physical force, being dishonest, or otherwise being unjust (in a “non-sjw sense”), I have very little interest in what you do.
If you are dancing to get a girlfriend, then, of course, you are going to want to dance with women you are sexually attracted to. Most white men, for the most part, are sexually attracted to white women, so that is who they are going to ask to dance. Nothing wrong with that, and if someone is tempted to say this is “racist”, then they need to rethink their definition of racism. Being attracted to whites is no different than being attracted to blondes, or brunettes, or women who are only attracted to taller guys. It’s called a preference. Everyone has physical preferences, and if they don’t, then they are making the extraordinary claim that they would be happy dating a brain being kept alive in a vat of nutrient fluid.
I, personally, have no problem dancing with black women. But, like I said, that’s because I’m there primarily to dance, not to meet a girlfriend.
But, the woman for me when it comes to dating is probably going to be white for several reasons. I avoid dating black women, not because I’ve never seen an attractive black woman, although that is *very* rare for me, but simply because I find that there is too much cultural baggage associated with the average American black. There is a disproportionate amount of crime being committed by blacks, and there seem to be higher rates of mental illness there. Additionally, I’ve seen studies that seem to say that the level of spousal-abuse is higher in the black community, and that there appears to be more domestic violence committed in inter-racial couples than mono-racial white couples. (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3611980/ )
Even if a particular black woman were none of these these things, when you marry, you are, in a sense, marrying that person’s family. So, you are more likely to encounter a criminal or a mentally ill person in a black person’s family. This means that your children are more likely to encounter a criminal or mentally ill person in your black spouse’s family. Additionally, most blacks that I encounter want to play some amount of the “make white people feel guilty” game. So, I wouldn’t want to put up with her or her family trying to make me feel guilty for being white. (Asian women and Hispanic women are also women I am attracted to with some frequency, and would probably date -because I currently see no evidence that they are different from white women on levels of mental illness, criminality, or spousal abuse.)
Are there black women out there that would be none of this, and would be great to marry? Possibly, but that number is exceedingly small once you take all of the above into account, and there is a great expense and “search cost” associated with dating to find even the right person in just the pool of available white women. There is also “opportunity cost” – every black person you go out on a date with on a Saturday is a missed opportunity to go out on a date with a more-likely-to-be-suitable white person. Why would you want to add additional search cost and expense to find the rare exception among black people, unless it’s about something besides finding a suitable romantic partner? (I have my suspicions about the motives of a lot of white people who date black people, but that’s a whole other blog post.)
I’ve concluded it’s easier to just have a policy of not dating black women and stick to white women in order to reduce search costs.
