When I give the Objectivist definition of “selfishness” as being “primarily concerned with the maintenance of one’s own life”, the retort I have gotten the most over the years is something along the lines of: “That’s just your’s and Ayn Rand’s highly-unsual definition of ‘selfishness’, and nobody else shares it.”
Unfortunately, anyone saying this doesn’t understand the purpose of concepts and knowledge. Why do we need a concept of “selfishness”, or any other concept for that matter? What is the purpose of knowledge? For Rand, all knowledge serves the purpose of promoting, maintaining, and enhancing “man’s life”. Since reality is what it is, and human beings are what they are, you must form concepts in order to live. So, the concept of “selfishness” must be formed based on the choice to live and your nature as a human being. That means the correct definition of “selfishness” means: “being primarily concerned with the maintenance of one’s own life,” not “violating the rights to life and property of others” or “treating others unjustly” -which tends to be what most good non-Objectivists mean when they speak of “selfishness”.
So, a bank robber should not be described as “selfish” because it doesn’t distinguish him from the people who own the bank and the depositors at the bank, who all presumably want to live and pursue happiness -which is selfish. A bank robber should be described as a “force-initiator”, a “criminal” or a “rights-violator”. Similarly, a man who cheats on his wife shouldn’t be described as “selfish” because it implies that you should go out and marry someone not because you love them but because they have “need” of you. It implies that you should marry someone not because you consider them to be the best spouse you can get, but because they are the *worst* spouse you can get -which is rather insulting to your spouse. A man who cheats on his wife should be described as “unjust” or a “promise-breaker”, not selfish.
The people who have suggested that my definition of “selfishness” isn’t in accordance with the “socially-accepted definition” don’t understand that all concepts serve my self-interest, and reality is what it is. That’s why I learn new things and gather knowledge in the first place -I’m rational because I want to live, not because rationality serves some unspecified purpose, unrelated to my life. If the “socially accepted definition” of any concept isn’t in accordance with the choice to live and the nature of reality, then it is the socially accepted definition that needs to change.